Dauphin Lost, Again

The Dauphin of Mississippi and his trusty mutt Boot set out from the territories of Wyoming in November of 2017. He was reportedly searching for an ancient text called the Book of Vanities—which holds either great wisdom or sorrow or might even be a series of lite entertainments. Experts can’t seem to agree on the specifics.Very few people have heard from them since, and we fear that we must, once again, declare him lost. We plan on hiring the most affordable P.I. money can buy to get to the bottom of this. (And, in case he’s reading this, it will fully be billed back to his account and taken out of future royalties. Return to work.)